discussion

D. and i decided to talk it through. clearly, we were not on the same page communication-wise. or time-wise. so we met and discussed it.

before going, i'd been on a roller-coaster: i didn't think this could go on versus i should give him another chance. i couldn't make my mind up. in the end, i decided to keep an open mind and to only make a decision once there and talked to him.

but the minute i got there and saw him, my feelings became crystal clear. this wasn't gonna work. we talked it through and the general feeling i got from him was not promising, so i said what i had to say. he took it extremely well, for someone who said he really wanted to see me more. but then, as the conversation continued, it became very clear we didn't, in fact, have that much in common. for example, he was of the opinion that one shouldn't intervene in a couple's affairs in the case of domestic violence. as far as he was concerned, maybe they liked it that way and it really wasn't a third party's place to say or do anything about it. right. of course.

... i think not.

failed date 2

this should really be telling me something. like it ain't gonna happen. i was supposed to go to D's place to watch the movie we still hadn't seen. except i didn't know when or where. so i sent an email to ask, to which he replied whenever and you know where i live. well, i knew the street, yes, but not the number, as i explain in my reply. to which he gives me directions to his street but still no number, and then says 'just call me when you get there'. except i don't have a phone number for him, which i write back. by which time, i find out later, he's not online anymore and i'm getting just a little pissed off so that by the time we're supposed to meet, i'm still clueless and not in the mood. and as it would take me an hour to get there, i cancel. and while i'm pissed off at him, i'm not that upset about not seeing him. this should really be telling me something.

acting up

a couple of weeks ago, my father finally broke up with his girlfriend (again). which was a relief. it was a weight off my shoulders. i talked to him on a very regular basis, to offer support, etc, but i didn't want to be annoying either, so i let him tell me what he wanted and not talk about what he didn't want to talk about. such as why she was still there. he did tell me eventually: a few weeks ago, there was a downpour, which completely ruined the roof of her flat, which needs to be entirely re-done. fine. but why hadn't she moved into her house, then? that hadn't been damaged. ah, well, it was difficult to heat. and me thinking, it can't be much more difficult than my father's house!

but of course, it turns out not only had she not moved out, she hadn't even moved room! so every single evening, she went on and on about getting a second chance (this would be the 4th, if i remember correctly). and so, obviously, my father is now considering this. it's just doing my head in. he sent us an email the other day, explaining why he should think about it some more. his arguments were pretty useless, as i pointed out in my reply. i'm not going to get into it here, but he's just being a complete hypocrite and a coward. at the end of the email, he asked whether we could all (that is, him and us) discuss it on a three-way call over the weekend. i said no. this has gone on long enough and i'm personally done discussing it. i've put too much time and emotions into this and i'm exhausted. there's nothing new, nothing's changed, so as far as i'm concerned, there's nothing to discuss. i've made it clear he can do what he wants but it's going to be without me.

snow!

ok, not down here in town, but on the Jura. i knew the snow limit had gone down these past few days, but it was still slightly unbelievable to see a light cover along the very top of the mountain this morning. it's a bit early...

my watch

some months ago, i broke the glass on my watch. i went to a shop to see if they could fix it, but of course, the shape of the watch - neither completely square nor completely round - makes it a difficult piece to replace. this is not a new problem - i've had it made several times before - but it's of course getting more and more expensive. so after one shop, i asked my students. i do, after all, teach at a watch-makers' 3 times a week. the answer wasn't immediately obvious but it turns out they can make it, just not right there but in another location in the country. considering the watch-maker in question, i was worried about the cost, but it turns out it's going to cost me a lot less than the last time (some 5 years ago), so that's perfect. i love my students!

the failed date

now, although i'm a stickler for punctuality, i can understand people being a bit late. stuff happens, etc. but an hour and a half?

D. was supposed to come over and we were going to watch a movie he'd rented. i said i'd be home for 8pm, so he could come roundabout then. living where i live, buses are not so frequent, so for him to be at my place at said time, he could only take the 7.40. but then, if he missed that one, he'd be here at 8.30. except there was no sign of him. nor at 9. he finally appeared at 9.30. without a word of apology.

when i, later on, asked what had actually happened, he explained his friend, who was supposed to drop something off at his place, had been late and only arrived at about 8pm. following which they'd made their way to the bus stop, but as he didn't want his friend to feel like he was being 'thrown out' or whatever, he took the time to spend some time with him. so that when he did get to the bus stop, he'd of course missed the bus (the 3rd one, in fact).

while i can understand there isn't much you can do about someone else being late, at that stage, i would have said 'thanks for dropping this off and i'm sorry but i actually have to go now'. i mean, this wasn't some meet up with friends. this was a movie date. thank god we weren't going to the cinema! plus, if he was still at home at 8pm, he could have called to say he was delayed! i'm not for calling people when you're 10 mns late, but an hour and a half, i'd certainly like to be informed...

honestly, when he did show up, i was tempted not to open. the only reason i did, was that he'd come all the way out to my place to see me. but honestly, had i lived in town, i wouldn't have bothered.

issues with my father

apart from everything else, one thing i'm really grateful for, about my father's birthday party, is the confirmation that my sister, myself and cousins aren't the only ones who think he should get out of that relationship. we've told him several times and he himself knows - he's told us several times he doesn't love her or anything, and that he'd much rather be with N. - but despite his assertions, he's still with her.

i know he doesn't want to be alone, etc, but i'm getting seriously worried now. she can't manage anything that's not her professional life, so dad ends up doing everything. which presumably explains why he was so stressed at his birthday. i mean, an hour before the big do, he didn't want to go anymore!

my second cousins agree with us. my father's best friend, whom he's known for 60 years, agrees with us. the unbiased new acquaintance, who also happens to be a psychologist, agrees with us. and presumably, a lot of other people also wonder what he's doing with her. for god's sake, apart from the locals and one or two others, no one at the party even knew who she was! this really does have to stop...

D date

it's funny, i remember saying, probably around spring, that i was done dating. yet it seems i've pretty much done nothing but this year... and it's continuing.

a few weeks ago, i bumped into D., an old student of mine, at the gym. he was eager to take me out for drinks and so yesterday, he finally did. and it was really nice. we talked and talked and discovered we agree on a lot of things. all of this in a really nice setting - outside by the lake, the winter temperatures of the week forgotten for a more Indian summer feel. i hadn't planned to stay very long but ended up suggesting we got some dinner. and talked some more. we parted without me feeling pressured into something, which was also nice. so let's see where this goes...