bad news

my godfather has cancer. he called me up this evening to confirm i could come and visit whenever, cos he'd be stuck in Paris for the next 3 months anyway, seen as he'd be going through chemo. he told me this like we were discussing the grocery shopping. and that was pretty much the tone of the whole conversation.

while i was trying to get more information out of him, he kept changing the subject so he told me he'd invited a couple of extra people to my father's 70th birthday in September and other stuff like that. finally, i managed to coax more details out of him. liver and lung cancer, with tumours in the brain. metastatic. just great. he didn't know what stage the cancer was at (stage 1 or terminal??) nor how strong the chemo sessions would be or even when, other than the first one was on Thursday. but it'd be lovely to see me and i was welcome at any time. he finally agreed to find out about the dates of all the chemo sessions so i could at least time it right, once we'd know how he was dealing with it. i know my mother was out for a good week to ten days after chemo, but he was saying one of his friends was fine for 3 days and then out for a week. but the whole conversation reminded me of my conversation with my great-aunt, when she was telling me she wanted to die. like there was nothing wrong and i was acting weird.

let's say he is...

interested, i mean.

i sent him an email on Thursday as planned. thanked him for showing up on Tuesday and said i'd had a good time getting to know him better. also suggested he might want to join us after having dropped off his friends at the airport when they left, whenever that was. turns out it was yesterday. was there anything going on that evening, he asked? nothing i was going to, as the party i'd been invited to would include lots of standing and dancing, neither of which my knees would be able to handle. so now what? according to my sister, i had to have some kind of plan that he could join or something. called M. whom i'd been wanting to see for a while. yes, she was free for coffee late afternoon, and possibly, S. would come to. that gave me my thing to do. i decided to go into town and do a couple of other things and was thus able to email back saying i had things to do, plus meeting friends later, but he was welcome to call me when he'd dropped his friends off and we could grab a coffee in between.

it was yesterday lunchtime and i was thus having lunch. i'd done the grocery shopping and was just waiting for the laundry to finish before setting off. i was checking my emails and there was a reasonably long one from N. the short version is that he was suggesting we had lunch together at 1.30pm. well, that was out seen as i was eating, and my sister's advice about not being too available sounded in my head. so i left home at 1.30 and sent an SMS saying i'd be with him at around 2pm. picked up M.'s birthday present on the way and was only about 10 mns late, not being able to find the place. we then moved on to a coffee shop where we talked for another hour. personal and non-personal stuff. to be honest, i can't recall most of the conversation, but it was nice. i did have to check with M. and S. about exact time and place. in the end, S. wouldn't be able to make it, but N. actually had to help her out with her computer, so i handed the phone over to him (it was funny, when i said, i'd actually with N. right now, i'll pass him over, her 'oh' was that of complete - and undertandable - surprise). once we'd sorted it all out, we left the coffee shop, dealt with his phone problem, got back to his car and he very nicely drove me to my meeting point before setting off to S.'s place.

i spent an hour and a half with M., who seemingly liked her present and told me all about the wedding plans. but then she had to leave and i actually had to pick up some books at S.'s (that's another long story), so i called her up and checked it was ok for me to drop by. and when i got there, N. was still there. fancy meeting you here! i was there about an hour, but then had to drop the books off in my car before crossing the lake again to join Mr. J. and a couple of other people for dinner (this plan came late Friday evening). i wasn't sure who was going, but it seemed easy-going enough so i asked N. if he maybe wanted to join us. he eventually declined - good thing too, it would have been overkill - but didn't seem to think i was being annoying or anything. or so i hoped.

the end is that i dropped off my books, met the others (we were just 4 in the end) and had a great time eating semi-Japanese food (never again!) and having a drink afterward. J. was there, and we had a very interesting talk about the differences in education in France and Germany while Mr. J. and L. exchanged gossip items. J. then drove us back to our various cars. he drives like a madman! or rather, as if he was on a circuit or something, which is not the best style in traffic-jammed Geneva! i much preferred N.'s calm and no-nonsense way of driving.

anyway, i got home, went to bed deploring the fact that we were losing an hour that night (spring time) and wondering whether i had messed up or not. but then, when i turned on my computer earlier on, there was an email from N. thanking me for the coffee and basically saying we should do it again, so i guess i did all right.

32 - window detail

interested?

i had told N. about the drinks last night, but although his reaction to our conversation had seemed very positive, i wasn't sure he'd show up. thought he might. didn't know. but even if he did, he was bound to show up reasonably late. whatever happened, there probably wouldn't be any real time to talk, especially as he was bringing his friends with him.

he showed up. pretty much on time, too. i talked to him and his friends for a while, before having to take care of my other guests, but came back a little while later. but because of his friends (and my role as hostess), i was having trouble getting away from general topics. i moved back to the other people and then he came over. and then, to be honest, i stopped talking to the others, apart from Mr. J., who was sitting across from us and who was basically keeping the conversation alive - i was stumped for anything intelligent to say. and that's when i realised i knew next to nothing about him. i knew things like he was a very nice and easy-going guy, a guy who values his family and nature and who's travelled a fair bit, but i had no clue we'd kind of lived parallel lives as kids, albeit on different continents. it was definitely interesting.

after all that, though, i completely botched my exit, but what the hell. i'll send him an email tomorrow and we'll see what happens.

my medication

i normally read through all the instructions that come with any new medication i take. except i didn't get around to it for the anti-inflammatories. or rather, i didn't want to because i remember Mr. J. telling me stuff about them that i thought i'd rather not know about. but the other day, i wasn't feeling so hot so i wanted to check if i could take aspirin at the same time. kind of wished i hadn't. it turned out the maximum amount authorised was 20 mg a day. i was taking 40. this was the prescribed amount, and i'd double checked with the pharmacist, so i know it was ok, but still (and yes, i know it's generally not the end of the world, but i like to follow rules for medication). luckily, it was the last day of the 40 mg dosage, i was going down to the 'normal' 20 the next morning and i was still alive, so i managed. while reading, i also found out one of the possible side effects was getting a heart attack. great. this was getting better and better. the rest was the usual rashes and ulcers. jolly good. and no, i can't take aspirin with that. so glad i checked...

flight nightmare

i got an email this morning: your flight departure time has been changed, please contact us immediately. i looked at the new time - not good.

over a month ago now, i booked a flight to Toulouse in September, to attend my father's 70th birthday. it was the cheapest deal around and i thought it was perfect. the times were a bit longer than i'd wanted, but that was a small price to pay for quite a cheaper ticket. but with the ETD being moved forward by 3 hours, i was suddenly going to have trouble making that flight, as the idea is that a bus will take everyone (about 50 people) back to the airport for 2pm. that's not going to change just for me. my father's place being a good 2 hours away, with no bus possibilities, the only other way is taking a taxi, and that's really expensive.

i called the airline and there was nothing to do but to cancel the flight, really. i'd been holding for about 15 mns, and i wasn't too keen on going through that again, so, not remembering how much more expensive the other flights were, i cancelled. then i checked what else i could book, and i found completely exhorbitant prices. 400 euros for a domestic return! you could practically fly to NY for that. another airline didn't have the right days, and mixing and matching airlines didn't work, as one of the flights was a non-low-cost company and the single was basically the same price as the return...

by then, i was pretty upset. i called my father and we discussed the options and we decided the best thing to do was to cancel the cancellation - if possible. we could always find a solution for the bus problem. so i called them back and, after explaining the situation and the woman talking to her supervisor, they were able to cancel the refund and book me back on as if nothing had happened. thank god. still, i wouldn't want to go through that everyday.

how far can people go?

i watched a disturbing programme on the TV last night. it was a documentary about how far people went if there was a person of authority telling them what to do. they transposed Milgram's experiment where a guy sent electric shocks to another guy if he answered a set of questions wrong. the more answers he got wrong, the stronger the shock. this documentary basically did the same, but with a reality TV show context.

they chose 80 people to act as questioners, while an actor was the candidate. the candidate was 'locked' in a box so the questioners couldn't see him, and every time he made a mistake, he was 'punished'. the people in charge of the study wanted to know where people would stop and how many would go all the way (380 volt shocks). apparently, in Milgram's experiment, 'only' about 60% went all the way. in this one, 80% did! if i remember correctly, only 9 questioners refused to go on at around question 10 (there were 27 in total), and another 7 stopped later on, when the 'candidate' screamed that he wanted out. everyone else, while unhappy about it, meekly followed the show host's encouragement to go on.

as i said, it was pretty scary - the thought that all those people, despite their best intentions, couldn't stop obeying the orders. the show hopefully made everyone wonder how far they would have gone, although the opening and the title were more about how far TV would go. at the beginning of the show, there were quite horrifying examples of what happens on some TV shows (the Japanese ones being the worst examples, although that guy in the UK who said he could survive a live Russian roulette thing was pretty disturbing too...) it makes me think that that politician in Switzerland who's opened a debate saying shouldn't be any TV between midnight and 6am might not be so far off the mark after all...

if you read/understand French, here's the link to the programme.

last ice

i think you get the picture... it was COLD last week... it's nice and warm now.

and more ice...

i like this one...

dead battery

i don't know what i've done, but i hope this is the last in a series of annoying events!

i was due in town on Saturday afternoon. i got into the car, turned the key, and the engine went something like 'whowhw...' tried turning the key again, but although it's only happened to me once, i knew the sound. the key was turning but the battery wasn't home... just great. so i closed the garage, made my way to the bus stop and hoped i'd just catch a bus going into town. luckily, i did - although the car show traffic seriously slowed things down.

once i got back home, i tried again but to no avail. as i believe the battery shouldn't be dead yet, i went to see if one of my neighbours could help me jump start the car. i was in luck, and it took just a minute. then i went for a 40km drive on roads with no lights or stop signs - mostly - and i now hope the car will have survived the day...

my knees

so i went to see the specialist, on Wed. it went really well. i think he's the doctor who's impressed me the most in all my life (then again, i've generally been disappointed by them, so he didn't have to do much to make me like him). i explained the problem, after which he examined me. turns out there's an inflammation in both of my knees, result of my kneecap malformation (which i found out about 15 years ago). sweet. he spent 10 mns explaining it all to me, then spent another 10 mns giving me all the options and telling me which one he thought was best. so at the end of the day, we went with: no sports at all for 3-6 weeks (depending on how things go), anti-inflammatories for 2 weeks, anti-inflammatory gel once a day, cold ice-pack on knees twice a day when possible.

having only taken the pills for 3 days, the pain is still there but the water in the knees seems to have subsided a bit. however, now that i know what's causing the pain, i'm much more aware of it. not great.

anyway, this meant i had to cancel my weekend in the Alps, seen as i wouldn't be able to go snowshoeing, sledging or skating. S. said i should come up anyway, as last weekend, most people apparently spent all their time lounging around despite the great weather, but really, i was going because i wanted to do all the snow-related stuff, and if i wasn't even going to be able to go for a long walk, i couldn't really see the point.

more ice...

the jetty

not sinking yet...

but the next boat along was halfway there... notice the tarpaulin folds on the boat on the right! (click for full size)

freezing in GVA

have i mentioned it's been blowing gale force winds in GVA these last couple of days, and that the temperatures have dipped quite a bit? not as impressive as 5 years ago, but still...

sorry for A.

i feel so sorry for my sister. she keeps landing jobs with the weirdest people, who generally mostly take advantage of her and make her feel crap.

apparently, while she's only being paid to work 70%, she's actually working 110% because there's too much to do. now, if it was her dream job, it would probably be a good move to keep at it, but they're making her do stuff that isn't really that interesting and, as i said, making her feel terrible. apparently, the reason she hasn't yet discussed it with her boss is that she feels she might not be pulling her weight. i wanted to shout at her. if there's one thing she does, it's work hard. and she's good at it. i'm not saying she's perfect - it's hard to be when people give you things to do that you've never done before and you weren't originally supposed to do - but i really can't believe she's not working harder than anyone else in that company. and all that for what? for a measly salary, in a job that will end in a month, where she's being treated like a sub-human being.

i really hope she gets more of those weird 2-3-day jobs where they completely rely on her and pay her well...

knee problems

since the beginning of the year, my legs have been feeling heavy. despite not wearing 'high' heels, i thought my boots might be the problem, or the tights i was wearing. i slept with my feet elevated, but it didn't seem to change anything. then, a couple of weeks back, the pain started to concentrate more around my knees, and then,more and more so, until on Tuesday, when, while on a walk with my father (and, ironically, about 5 minutes after discussing whether or not i should see a doctor about this), there was a piercing pain in my right knee and we had to stop.

i've now got an appointment for Wednesday, and in the meantime, i'm trying to get a precise idea of how the pain is. the problem is, it changes every day, or even throughout the day. sometimes it hurts to be standing, sometimes to be sitting. sometimes walking is painful, sometimes it helps. sometimes the pain is like a sharp needle, sometimes it's a throbbing. sometimes it's at the front of my knee, sometimes the back. sometimes it's just one knee, sometimes it's both. sometimes it's just the knee, sometimes it goes up and down. oh, and possibly unrelated, but nonetheless there, sometimes other parts of my body start hurting, too. i'm sure the doctor's gonna have a field day...

booked

after weeks of waiting for everyone to agree on the dates and times, i finally went and booked my trip to the States for Xmas. in the meantime, the price had of course gone up quite a bit, but seen as we'd finally managed to agree and it was still the cheapest trip,.... it's really exciting: a week in Florida with the cousins and 3 days in NYC for new year's. can't really make it better than that!

ah, teachers!

so, apart from the incident i vaguely mentioned the other day (sorry, i can't be more specific - suffice it to say it made the rest of the week rather interesting), there was a message from one of my teachers waiting for me when i got to the office this morning. it confirmed that some lessons wouldn't be taking place today. ... uh? what? why?

when i asked my colleague, who'd taken the message, i was told she'd explained that, further to my email about their being no lessons today, she was letting me know that 2 of her students had called to cancel but as there was no lesson anyway... the only email i'd sent this teacher was about the Easter break, next month. surely she wasn't mixing the dates up?

when i finally got hold of her, it turned out she had mixed the dates up. how she could have failed to see the word Easter in both the subject and the text is beyond me, but there you go. luckily, there was still - just about - time for her to make the lessons (thank god i was half an hour early myself!) the problem was the students. if those two people had communicated the lack of lesson further, we were in trouble, especially as practically none of these people have access to email at work... as it turned out, though, it seemed we were in luck, so the crisis was averted.

GMOs in Europe

so the EU has decided to allow small 'trial' GMO potato crops to be planted in Europe. but they are very clear: the potatoes produced would not be for general consumption, only animal consumption so, they say, it's totally safe. plus, they'd make sure there was no contamination of other crops. right. i'm sorry but, ARE THEY COMPLETELY BLEEDING MAD????? everyone already knows the 'no contamination' thing is moot. plus, as someone pointed out, it's practically impossible to harvest ALL the potatoes that are grown, as some invariably stay in the ground, hightening the possibility of contamination. and, HELLO!... the animals that will be eating these potatoes (cows and pigs), will most probably end up in someone's plate or their milk in someone's glass. this is really stupid. i'm obviously completely against GMOs but let's face it, if they're gonna allow them, they might as well allow them everywhere.

yes! (i'm good)

there's nothing like being told you're good. i'm still elated. i guess being told 3 or 4 times helped...

one of my teachers did something she shouldn't have done. when i told N., he didn't go spare, but i could tell the feeling was there and that he would have if it had been his style. anyway, he said to tell her off, as this would cause problems with our client. i've never really had to tell someone off before, not about something we couldn't easily fix, so i spent a good half hour on it, rearranging the text, adding stuff, changing the wording, deleting other stuff. and then, when i decided i couldn't possibly make the point any clearer, i sent it off, copy to N. 2 mns later, he came in to say that was a very good email. couldn't have written it better himself. it was very clear. one to keep as a template. in fact, he was going to keep it as a template. and me, with a grin on my face.

i know it's only an email, but considering it's the kind of position i hate to be in, i take it as a personal victory to have succeeded so well in it.

you've got to love young men...

i have this class where, while most guys are around my age, two are in their early to mid-twenties. and sometimes, they really want to brag or impress me. i think. i believe i've already mentioned the time one of them insisted, during a lesson on body vocab, to show off his skill with the word six-pack, something he also explained he had. today, we were talking about injuries, and discussing which of a bruise or a scratch was more serious. while everyone was going for the scratch, as it involved blood, one of the guys pulled out his i-phone to show us a picture of a spectacular bruise, covering most of a thigh. his thigh, it turned out, clad in nothing but striped blue and white boxershorts. ... uhum... don't get me wrong, the guy's pretty gorgeous, so it's not like i had to look at something hideous (well, apart from the bruising, that is), but i don't know... maybe it's just a guy thing (like comparing who's got the most impressive scars) and they obviously all thought it was good fun, but i'm pretty sure i wouldn't want to show a picture of myself in really short shorts or any kind of underwear to my students, no matter how much i liked them...