attracted?

one of my old colleagues split up with his long-time live-in girlfriend about 5 months ago. i found this out last month, when he came to a lunch that was organised for another colleague who was leaving. and it's funny, cos i'd never looked at him as a potential boyfriend, knowing he was not available. but now that he was...

that particular lunch, i spent most of my time flirting with him. easy enough as we were the 2 non-smokers and thus sitting next to each other. also, we both studied archaeology, he's interested in Asia and used to be a language teacher, so we have lots in common.

i have since seen him a few times, twice this week, and we should be having lunch again next week. but in the meantime, i'm wondering. yes, he's nice. we get along, i find him reasonably attractive and funny. and since thursday evening, i believe he might be interested, too (then again, i could be completely wrong...). if we do something about it, it could develop into a nice little relationship. but i know that it will not be 'it'.

now, i know that's not technically important, because with my track record, i'm not sure i'll ever find 'it' again. i know i should go for it anyway because i deserve to have someone nice and have a good time, but i can't help thinking about the last time i thought that, namely at the beginning of the year with Aussie boy, which, when i think about it now, was quite disastrous. now, i know this guy a lot better than i did Aussie boy, plus we have lots in common. but when i compare, for example, i'm less attracted to him than i was to the nice guy at the big spring party. which i know means nothing cos i barely know that guy and we might be as ill-suited as my last stint in dating-world. but still.

i know. i think too much. always have, always will. need to let go and enjoy myself. that'll be my new mantra...