Bryan Adams

we got free tickets to see his concert last night, so off we went. and it was a great show. intimate. after the supporting act (the Lovebugs, a good Swiss group, same kind of music as Adams'), the man himself showed up, not on the stage as imagined (which was infuriating for all those who'd pushed and shoved to get up to it), but on a makeshift one, at the back. it was funny. they all went onto the actual stage a little later and provided us with a great show.

what i really liked was that at no time did Adams act like he thought he was a big star. he seemed almost shy, leaving his apparently best friend of a guitarist to play around. it was funny. at some point he invited a spectator to come up and sing with him, and later still, another one to dance with them. it was great. and no, that song does not get old and yes, his voice is the same. and it feels quite special to hear it for real.

bird songs

it's spring, it's everywhere, and the birds are certainly putting up a good show. on monday morning (the one day i didn't have to wake up early), they started very early and sang for hours. the nightingales are back (or at least, singing again), and it was so beautiful. for a while there, it seemed i was back at the house, when i used to live in one. i could see the garden and myself walking around it. spring is the best part of the year...

"Watching the English" on religion

i've just finished reading this book, which i'll tell you more about later. for now, this part made me laugh. it's about why 60% of English people answer 'yes' when asked if they believe in god:

"- they are 'not particularly religious but sort of believe in Something';
- they are vaguely willing to accept that there might be a God, so saying 'no' would be a bit too emphatic;
- they would quite like to think that there is a God, even though on the whole it seems rather unlikely;
- they don't really know but might as well give Him the benefit of the doubt;
- they haven't really thought about it much to be honest, but yeah, sure, whatever."
(Fox, K., 2004, p355)

i'm sure it's the same for quite a lot of people out there, not just the English, but still, it's very funny to see it written down like that.

plumbing & insurance

so after a lot of going back and forth, calling insurances, receiving papers, not knowing how best to fill them in and asking students who work in insurance, i finally signed the papers and got them delivered to the agency that takes care of my building. YES!!!! i realise this does not in any way mean this whole thing is over. what it does mean is that i've once again made it clear i'm not paying for that stupid bill, so other people can now squabble over whose insurance is responsible all they want.

Place des Nations

if you're familiar with Geneva, you'll know that across from the UN is the so-called 'UN square', a place where people can demonstrate against human rights problems in [insert country name], a new resolution, you name it.

after 2 years of renovation, it was finally opened to the public again. the Chair is back (symbolising land mines, as it only has 3 legs, the 4th one being a broken stump), which is good, but i'm not sure i like what they've done with the place. oh sure, it's all very grand but the marble, fountains and benches are all a bit too much for me. i liked it a lot better when it was just one big grassy area...

how do you know?

how do you know you really love someone?

i was talking to a friend of mine the other day, and he was saying that he really loved this girl and he was crushed that she didn't love her back. which is normal. but he was telling me it had always been her, even for the long periods of time when they weren't together (after they'd broken up). which came as a bit of a surprise, as that's not the way it had seemed to me. now, i know my friend has a habit of not telling anyone anything and of being really secretive, but still... to make that kind of statement, i would kind of expect to have seen something of that amazing love he says he holds for her. it is just wishful thinking on his part? for example, i remember a few years ago when another friend found out this guy she'd known forever was getting married. she was crushed because she believed he was it, the man of her life, despite having never even dated him. again, i'd never heard any of this before, hadn't even known the guy existed. she was very depressed for a couple of months and even wondered whether to tell him how she felt. as i recall, she tried, but obviously not hard enough, as he happily went on to marry the girl in question while my friend hit rock bottom. but a few months later, she saw the newlyweds, and boy was she happy she hadn't married him after all. seeing them together made her realise what her life would have been like and she was incredibly happy to have escaped marrying him after all.

so, back to the question: how do you know that you're really in love with someone and not just wishing? here, both of my friends obviously had an idea of who they wanted their loved one to be and so i wonder, are our expectations realistic? are we just scared to think that we haven't yet met our person so that we choose someone we know as a safe bet?

life is too short

i was talking with a friend the other day, and she said this. and it is so true. except people don't think about it. they act as if they had their entire lives to do or say stuff, but really, we could all die tomorrow. don't get me wrong, i was like that. but my mother's death has, i think, put things into perspective for me. i try to live not as if i was going to die tomorrow but with the idea that if i did, i wouldn't regret (not) having said/done whatever it was i should (not) have said/done... so that no matter what, i know that i gave it a go. some people think i'm unbelievably frank about things most people would rather not discuss or even mention but the way i see it, it saves time. it might be hugely embarrassing, but embarrassment is short-lived, especially if you've made it a point not to care about it. it can also be painful, but again, i'd rather know something wasn't going to happen, or that something was over, so that i can then move on to the next thing. or that something was going to happen and stop being on edge all the time.

chivalry

i didn't notice at first (we were in a bar - not too much light), but my friend S1. had a black eye. i asked him what he'd done. turns out he had helped a girlfriend who was being harassed by a very aggressive bloke. when the guy made to hit the girl, S1. came to the rescue. thus the black eye. i hope the girl said something on the lines of 'gosh, my hero!'.

cherry trees in the snow

last week was amazing, weather-wise. for mid-March, anyway. all the cherry trees started blooming and it was nice and warm and sunny. i'd never noticed that cherry trees actually smell of something...

and then this morning, winter settled back in and brought snow. it's quite a sight, cherry trees in the snow... i wish i'd had my camera with me.

no wooden spoon this year!

i barely watched any of the 6 nations games this year (no time), but i did watch the Wales/England game yesterday, and what a game!

apparently, Wales had hitherto lost every single game, and whilst playing England is always a great encouragement to do better, i wasn't at all sure they could pull it off. but off they went, practically from the word go, and scored a beautiful try. England didn't score a thing for the first 30mns. then, for the longest time, they were tied at 18 points, but suddenly, the Welsh came back to life and scored some more, finally beating the English to a well-deserved win. what a game!

my question is, where was Shane Williams? and one of the Jones' was missing. and that guy i can't stand who is permanently tanned? i barely recognised any of the players. i'd never seen Hook in my life, but boy did he deserve to get the Man of the Match title...

what's going on?

one of my friends has been in the hospital since september, paraplegic after an accident. for a while, he didn't want to see anyone, because his physiotherapy was taking such a toll on him that he didn't feel up to holding conversations. fair enough. after Xmas, we were allowed to come back, but only after calling to check it was ok. again, no problem there.

i have always called ahead to ask him if the timing was good for him, and until a month ago, everything went fine. i saw him on average every other week - i realise this is not a lot, but we're only allowed to see him weekends, and as he doesn't want to see too many people in the same day, i thought this way he could see lots of people and know we all think of him and care.

but then 2 weeks ago, i called to say i wanted to see him on that day and he said i couldn't come cos there were already lots of people coming. which was great for him, so i didn't think more of it. until, that is, i found out from a reliable source that noone had been to visit him that weekend. in fact, his uncle, who'd just arrived, had contacted a friend of mine to basically let her know he was very angry about the fact we were letting our friend down by not visiting him enough. which was incredibly weird and totally uncalled for.

last week, i called several times, but he never picked up the phone. and i called this morning. this time he answered but said too many people were visiting this weekend. i was wondering whether to challenge him on this when he asked me what was going on with me. he said i used to call him a week ahead to organise coming to see him. ok, i did that once but he was acting as though it was a good habit and that i had somehow let him down. i told him it had never been a habit and let it go at that. i don't see how this is relevant, as it now seems that there aren't, in fact, many people visiting him so that he is technically free for other visits. and whilst i understand he might not want to see people some days, he can't afterwards complain if he already doesn't want to see us on weekdays.

then i asked him how he was, etc. the conversation went like this.

me: how long is your uncle staying?
him: why do you want to know?
me: what do you mean?
him: who wants to know?
me: i do.
him: i'm curious as to why you want to know.
me: huh... i was just wondering, that's all. i heard he was around so i thought i'd ask.

and thinking, what the hell? and then he nearly bit my head off because there were too many people talking (yes, because his uncle being there is a state secret) and why was i asking him about his uncle or his mother anyway, as it really wasn't any of my business and it was his family and if i wanted to talk to him it should all be about him. i shouldn't ask him about other people.

now, i realise he's been in there for a long time now. i realise nothing has gone as planned, and that after supposedly leaving the hospital at the end of Jan, it became the end of Feb and now god knows when as he's been bedridden because of an allergy which means he can't practise using the wheelchair. fine. it's horrible and i have no idea how horrible it is, i really can't imagine. he probably does feel let down by all his friends, most of whom apparently haven't been to see him. i get that. but why the hell is he getting angry at me for asking him about his family? if i ask him about how he's doing, he just says fine and doesn't really want to talk about it. and i'd like to talk to him more, not just hi, how are you, can i come to see you? no, ok, i'll call you next week.

and now i realise why some people have stopped going to see him. we were wondering, the other day, whether we should just show up anyway, or respect his 'wishes' when he said we couldn't come, but i must admit that when he acts this way, i really understand why some have given up.

my dreams

i've had weird dreams all my life, and on a regular basis, people die in them. i've had countless dreams where my dog died. every time, i called home to check, but he was always fighting fit. several times, i dreamt someone in my family (generally my mother) died. i didn't need to call to check, of course, as i knew my the phone would ring if it ever were true. but then, one day i once again dreamt my mother was dying. except this time she was fighting cancer again and i knew things were not going as they should. i was seriously considering flying home at the time.

i woke up and couldn't shake the dream. then the phone rang. it's true that i was in the bathroom at the time, but if i'm totally honest, i could have got it at the last ring. but i didn't. i reckoned that if it was important, it would ring again, or my mobile would. so i just stood there and waited. then i remembered my mobile was off, so i rushed to switch it on. and waited some more. after a few minutes, i went back to whatever i was doing. and the phone rang again.

i put on a happy voice when i picked up the receiver, and i cannot explain how relieved i was when i heard my godfather's voice. until he told me he had bad news. when my father failed to reach me, he called him. we were in the same city. this time, my mother had died. right about when i was dreaming she was.

i've had several such dreams since then, and whilst i know not to worry too much about them. but i had another one the other day, and it felt very real. and i've just been wondering it. do other people regularly dream people around them die?

artichokes

i love artichokes. last night, i had the best artichoke in my entire life, i think. it was so good i could eat half the leaves, and the closer i got to the centre, the more i leaf i could eat. and the bottom part was huge and gorgeous. when i'd finished, i wished i'd bought another one... scrumptious!

where does he get off?

so last night, i went to one of my old students' band's concert. S., Mr. J. and H. came along for support. i say support, because i happen to like that particular student, and as we all know, it's rare for me to actually like someone enough to think about doing something about it.

at some point while we were watching them play, Mr. J. asked me if i liked him (this seemed to have escaped him somehow). i said yes. he then asked if i found him handsome. well, perhaps handsome is not the best word to describe him but i do find him attractive so again, i said yes. and then he started asking me how i could say that. to paraphrase him, P. is not especially lean and he could do with sitting up straight. and then he and H. spent a couple of minutes discussing this, basically being degrading. and i just thought: where does he get off telling me stuff like that? it's none of his damn business! i like P. just the way he is, thank you very much, and whether Mr. J. gets it or not is really not my problem. he was the one who decided against going out with me. if he has an opinion about my choices, he's of course free to voice them, but there's no call for being obnoxious about it. did i ever tell him he was dating a slut?

and then they tried to bully me into going over and kiss him. what, like, while he's playing???? they said that the choices were that i go there myself or they talk to him for me. now, i'm sure they were somewhere trying to make me less single than i have been for longer than i care to say, but how old are we, 12? the way they were saying it, that's how i felt... bloody hell!

Aussies

even when i lived in NZ, i didn't actually know that many. sure, my boyfriend was Aussie (but then again not really), and there were obviously quite a lot of them around, but i didn't know them personally.

since i've started working here, i've become surrounded with them. there are at least 5 of them at work, and i know at least 4 of them outside, people i hang out with on a regular basis. it's just so weird, it feels surreal. and now, i find out one of the TV channels is going to show Home & Away! starting at season 18, which will make it oh-so-easy for the French to understand... they'll have missed out on Angel and Shane...

buses

i woke up 10 minutes early this morning so i could walk to my usual bus stop instead of taking the one across from my place, and get some exercise. i was early, but apparently, so was the bus, that i suddenly saw zoom by me a couple of minutes before i got to the stop, which was quite a bit before it was due. the following bus was, of course, late, so that i missed my connection with the next one, which was supposed to take me all the way across town in a roundabout way (i was teaching in company this morning). the following bus should have got me to the place on time (yes, i had planned to get there early just in case), but it was 10 minutes late so of course, i was late, too. which had never happened. ever. i know it's not the end of the world but being late, especially for work, is just not something i can live with easily... did it ruin my day? no. but do i feel awful? yes. am i stupid? probably...

1-year anniversary

my friend S. and i have now known each other for over a year, and we decided to celebrate.

i showed up at her place with flowers (for her), a bottle of wine (for dinner) and chocolates (for dessert). we went for a long, long walk through the parks and then went all the way back into the old town for some serious pancakes (we deserved it after all that working-out!). then we went back to her place (mine's too far out of town) and she cooked me up a wonderful dinner, that we kind of shared with her flatmate, followed by a serious heart-to-heart about out respective boy problems. although let's face it, hers were a little more important that mine. after that, we met up with the rest of the crowd in our usual bar.

it was a great day, and i hope we do it again next year!