protein pets

my father loves walnuts. he really does. and every year, he buys tons, so that they will last him till the next season. and he's now going through the very last bag, which is very nicely timed, as the new ones will come out in about 2 weeks. anyway, the point is, these nuts are, by now, quite old, and quite a few of them are totally unedible. quite a few of them have some kind of maggot, or other form of 'protein' in them. yesterday, the maggot in question was really bold and actually made it off the plate.

me: dad, your protein's escaping.
dad: oh, where are you going, protein?

followed by 5 mns of my father trying to get the maggot back onto the plate without actually touching it. it was doomed to fail. this maggot wanted freedom. eventually, he picked it up and put it in his empty chocolate mousse container.

dad: wow, the protein likes chocolate. it's stopped moving. it's eating the stuff.
me: dad, stop referring to it as if it were a pet. it's not. it's a maggot.
dad: come on protein, eat up!

me, giving up.