a woman's logic

so, this morning i'd mostly managed to talk myself out of attempting anything with Mr. Nice Guy. i'm really good at talking myself out of some things. but then, of course, i was still looking forward to seeing him and his smile, so when he didn't show up, it made me feel kind of empty. it's one thing for me to decide i'm not pursuing the matter, it's another entirely that he should not be there to witness my not caring at all about him. although the fact that it annoys me so much may be a sign that this could be worth pursuing. if it wasn't suicidal, that is...